Our Honeymoon! Part 1: Istanbul

Istanbul was the perfect city to begin our two-week honeymoon in! We stayed in an adorable little studio apartment, complete with exposed brick walls, located right by Galata Tower, a looming old fortress built by the Venetians in 1348. Galata Tower was a nice introduction to this amazing city, where buildings built in 1348 stand watching over busy neighborhoods and mosques built in 1663 (above) are called "new." You could also see the tower from virtually everywhere we went, making it easy to find our way home.

Our first day in Istanbul, despite all of my assertions that there would be none of this napping business, we both collapsed on the bed and took a luxuriously long nap. We woke to the sound of the nearby muezzin emphatically calling people to prayer, and decided to set out to explore the Egyptian Spice Bazaar and Grand Bazaar. Built in 1660 and 1455, respectively, these bazaars are some of the oldest and largest in the world. They were absolutely packed with people and filled with the smells of spices, teas, and sweets. Brett and I aren’t big souvenir shoppers, but we did stop to buy some lokum, or Turkish Delight, in every flavor you could possibly imagine – rose, pistachio, hazelnut, honey. The list was seemingly endless! After that, we found an old café and got our hands on some Turkish Coffee. It was delicious, but also very strong and bitter, and Brett laughed at my face every time I took a sip. After our coffee, we wandered through the Grand Bazaar, looking at rugs, kilims, and a thousand evil eye charms. The Bazaar was overwhelming. It has 61 covered streets and over 3,000 shops! It felt like we were in some kind of maze as we tried to find our way out. 

Saffron in the Spice Bazaar

Inside the bazaar

Inside the bazaar!

Brett takes coffee drinking very seriously

It was STRONG.

Once we found our way out of the Bazaar, we walked down to the river and ate dinner at Hamdi’s, a riverfront restaurant with rooftop seating. The view was gorgeous – we could see the river, Galata Bridge, and Galata Tower across the way – but neither of us were crazy about the “Turkish Pizza” with minced lamb, walnut, and pomegranates on it. 

Our view from dinner!

Oh hi, we're married.

The next day, we walked back down across Galata Bridge to get to back to Sultanhamet. Along the way, we picked up some simit, a type of sesame-coated Turkish bagel, from a street vendor (all I wanted to do in Istanbul was eat street food!). Our simit was served with some type of very delicious cheese and we sat in the square, listening to all of the muezzins call from their mosques, as we devoured them. We headed over to the Hagia Sophia, stopping at a fantastic little book shop along the way to pick up a Lonely Planet guidebook (we left our Frommer’s in Atlanta!). The Hagia Sophia was amazing! It was bigger than I had imagined it would be, but also much simpler in design. One of the most interesting things about visiting the Hagia Sophia is that you can see the history of so many empires inside her frescoed walls. In front of paintings depicting the crucifixion and the Theotokos (the Mother of God) are Arabic inscriptions from the building’s centuries as a mosque. It is such tangible evidence of the Byzantine and Ottoman Empires, and it is amazing to see how they sit side by side, forever intertwined. 

Simit!

Hagia Sophia

Hagia Sohpia

Hagia Sophia

Hagia Sohpia

After the Hagia Sophia, we walked through a pretty little park to the Blue Mosque. The Blue Mosque was built in 1609 and is covered in 20,000 blue mosaic tiles. It was simply stunning! 

The Blue Mosque

Momma bought me this lovely Lilly Pulitzer scarf for the trip! It came in handy! 

After the Blue Mosque, we wandered over to the Hippodrome for a yummy lunch of roasted corn (I told you all I wanted to do was eat street food :-). Then, we headed down into the Basilica Cistern, which was built in the 6th century by the Byzantine Emperor Justinian. The Cistern was super cool and had a great atmosphere. The huge columns - all 300 of them! - were lit up and if you peered down into the dark water you could see fish swimming around the ancient site. After the Cistern, we walked through a lovely park near Topkapi Palace and wandered into a lovely garden overlooking the Bosphorus River. We sipped chai, enjoyed the nice breeze, and watched the boats go by. 

Have I mentioned I love street food?

Basilica Cistern

Lovely little tea garden

I could write a love song about my love for apple tea

Handsome man!

Unfortunately, the Topkapi Palace closed earlier than we thought, so we didn't get a chance to go inside. Instead, we walked back to Galata and grabbed dinner at a restaurant there before packing for our next destination: Selcuk and Ephesus!

[Shannon] The Last Name Project

 

In this series co-hosted by from two to one and The Feminist Mystique, we profile an array of individuals and couples about their last name decisions upon marriage or what they expect to choose if they marry. The goal is to explore how individuals make decisions about their last name, and to highlight the many possibilities. We will be posting profiles periodically and encourage you to stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  If you would like to participate in this series, email Danielle at danielle [at] fromtwotoone [dot] com or Shannon at hill [dot] shannonp [at] gmail [dot] com.

The following post is by Shannon, a newly married feminist, writer, fundraiser extraordinaire, and the founder of The Feminist Mystique! 

As one of the co-founders of The Last Name Project, I think it is only fitting that my first post as a married woman is for The Last Name Project. Although, I don't think my decision will surprise anyone too much: I'm keeping my last name. And Brett is keeping his too. 

Ever since I was a little girl, I've known I would not go the traditional take-your-husband's-last-name-without-thinking-about-it-much route. I saw my mom's name change three times in the course of a few years as she got divorced, enjoyed life as a single lady, and eventually remarried. The whole process seemed ridiculously tedious and - to use a word my 10-year-old self would have used - unfair. It seemed to imply that men have their own identities, but women do not; that, unlike men, who women are should fundamentally change when they marry.

As I've grown up, and heard the most common reasons women give for changing their name (perfectly summarized by my friend Kayla here), I've never been quite convinced. I don't like doing things just because they're traditional and think that, in fact, most of our traditions are deeply patriarchal. I don't think it is easier to take Brett's last name. In fact, not taking his last name and not filling out a ton of paperwork has been much easier. As the daughter of divorced parents and a member of a "blended" family, I've never understood the significance some people place on having the same last name as your children. My mom and I don't have the same last name, and we're very close. Also, it really wasn't that confusing for anyone to figure out who my parents were, despite the name differences. 

Most importantly, I knew that I wanted my marriage to be equitable. That I wanted my career to be just as valued as his. That I wanted parenting responsibilities to be equally shared. That I wanted us each to retain our own individual identities as we worked together to live out our dreams and share our lives. Simply taking my husband's last name has never seemed to fit with these goals, even if just symbolically. 

By the time I started dating Brett, I had already developed strong opinions on the matter. Simply changing my last name to his was never an option. It was a deal breaker, really. I broached it with him one day in our first year of dating, and he didn't seem to flinch. I'm not going to pretend like I remember his exact words, but they were something along the lines of "I won't expect you to take my last name if you don't expect me to take yours." That was a deal I was perfectly willing to make. :-) 

A few months after we got engaged, Brett and I decided that we should think more seriously about what we were going to do with our last names. We quickly ended up deciding that keeping our own names or having both of us change our names to a hyphenated one were the two options we felt most comfortable with.  We liked the idea of hyphenating our names because we could have the same name, but we realized that neither of us really cared that much about having the same last name, even with our sentimental wedding-planning emotions running high. Brett, always a man after my heart, also worried that without explaining that he had also changed his last name, symbolically it might still seem like I was the one taking on his last name: "It might not seem as symbolically anti-patriarchal to say 'My new name is Shannon Hill-Maiden' than it is to say 'I'm keeping my name.'" Obviously, concerns like these are one of the reasons why I love this man.  

Before officially deciding what to do with our names, we also decided we should figure out what our potential children would be called. While I didn't think it would be an issue, I didn't want to keep my last name only to have Brett insist that our children should take his (which seems to be way too common of a phenomena). Luckily, it didn't seem to bother Brett one bit if his children didn't have his exact same name, and we decided that they will take both of our names in hyphenated form (Hill-Maiden or Maiden-Hill, we haven't decided which sounds better yet).  

With that settled, it was official: we were both keeping our last names.

In the few short weeks since I've been married, however, I've been surprised at how many times I've already been called "Mrs. Maiden," and "Shannon Maiden," or even the absolutely dreaded "Mrs. Brett Maiden" (I'm sorry, did I miss the fact that I have completely ceased to exist?!) I've been surprised that one of the first questions everyone has asked me is, "What is your new name?!" And while I find myself slightly annoyed that so many people automatically assume I am taking my husband's name, I also know that every time I tell someone I'm keeping my name, I'm challenging the normative. 

And really, can there be any better way to celebrate the start of your marriage than by chipping away at a patriarchal paradigm? 

Sounds like the start of happily ever after to me.

Honeymoon!

I think I've been so busy trying to survive work and wedding planning that I've neglected to tell you all where we're going for our honeymoon. And since I know you are just DYING from the suspense, I thought I'd finally announce to the blog world that we are going to (drum roll, please!)...................

 

TURKEY AND GREECE!

I am beyond excited about this trip and absolutely can't wait to go! In the next few weeks, I'll be sharing a little bit more about this trip - including how I'm staying organized, my packing list, a few new honeymoon outfits, and a few new honeymoon underthings (I suppose you can't call them unmentionables if you're planning on doing a whole blog post on them, can you?). If you're familiar with either Greece or Turkey, I'd love to hear your travel tips in the comments or via email!

Steubenville: Justice and Rape Culture

Yesterday, like most of you, I waited anxiously to hear the verdict of the Steubenville case. I was relieved when the defendants were found guilty and felt a glimmer of hope, both that the survivor might find some solace in the verdict and that this "guilty" meant that we, as a nation, finally understood the need for justice.

However, I was quickly dismayed by the media coverage of the case. I was dismayed by the sighs of pity for these young men and the tremendous concern for the "promising athletes" whose futures now look grim. As if they were the victims. As if the real victim had, so tragically, ruined the careers and lives of these boys instead of vice versa.  And any glimmer of hope that this verdict kindled was stamped out by the overwhelming demonstration of our rape culture.

Much has been written in the hours since the decision. CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC have been, rightfully, criticized for revealing the name of the victim during the course of their coverage. Dave Zirin, who writes over at The Nation, has a great piece about the link between jock culture and rape culture. And Maya, over at Feministing, captures perfectly the way that I, and I suspect many of you, feel in the aftermath of this trial when she says:

I don’t want to live in a world in which a mainstream media outlet reporting on the verdict barely mentions the victim in their rush to lament the fact that the “promising lives” of the defendants have been ruined and that this “will haunt them for the rest of their lives.” I want to live in a world in which negative consequences are considered the logical effect of committing a terrible crime, and a sentence for rape that is shorter than those regularly doled out for drug possession or downloading academic papers is viewed as pretty damn lenient.

I don’t want to live in a world in which girls are so well-schooled in the consequences they’re sure to face for speaking up about a sexual assault that the victim immediately tried to assure people that she “wasn’t being a slut” and initially didn’t want to name the defendants ”because I knew everyone would just blame me.” I don’t want to live in a world that proves these fears justified time and time again.

Councilwoman Mrs. Ben Wyatt

Do you watch Parks and Recreation? You should! It is, objectively, the funniest show in the world and features one of the best female characters to ever hit the screen. Seriously, I frequently ask myself, "What would Leslie Knope do?" and last week, when I had to stay up basically all night every night for work, I reminded myself that Leslie Knope would LOVE to be up all night working on a project, so I should love it too. It kind of worked. :-) 

Recently, Parks and Recreation aired the episode I've long been waiting for: the Leslie and Ben wedding episode! It was magical and hilarious ,but my favorite part was when Ben said, "I really want you to take my last name… it’s just really important to me symbolically that Leslie Knope disappears and becomes Leslie Wyatt. Or Councilwoman Mrs. Ben Wyatt. That’s fine, too. It’s a deal breaker." Leslie's face was priceless, and I am so grateful to this show for making a joke about how ridiculous it is for a man to demand a woman take his last name. 

Congratulations Leslie and Ben! I hope you have many more seasons of love together. 

P.S. I wish I had been like Leslie, and asked for a wedding dress that captured "the sensuality of Eleanor Roosevelt combined with the animal magnetism of Lesley Stahl.”

A Feminist Wedding: Our Save the Dates

I have finally bounced back from this plague illness I've had for the past two weeks and lucky for you, that means you get to learn a little bit more about our wedding. :-)

When we went through our budget shortly after getting engaged, one of the things that seemed way too high according to our wedding budget estimator was paper. To start, Brett is definitely not a huge fan of paper. He could care less. And while I love to have a nice stack of pink flat note cards in my desk at all times for writing thank you notes and other things, I've never been a huge connoisseur of paper either. Also, I've never cared too much about what the save the dates and the wedding invitations I've received have looked like. After an initial "awww" and maybe a few months stint on our refrigerator, I don't keep them stashed away somewhere as keepsakes. 

We assumed everyone on our guest list would do the same and that our save the dates and invitations would eventually bite the dust (especially the save the dates, which will be replaced by an invitation a few months pre-wedding). And since there is absolutely no reason to spend $3 per person on something that is going to end up in the trash, we made the decision to cut our paper budget way, way down.

To save money, we decided to make the save the dates ourselves. There are a ton of cute free printable templates on the internet, and I spent hours trying to choose between all of the free printable save the dates over at Wedding Chicks. In the end, we chose this one because it was casual, had a vintage feel, and didn't force us to commit to a super-defined color scheme right away. It also had space for us to include a link to our wedding website, allowing us to give guests lots of information without using more paper. All we had to do was insert our photo and information into the template and voila! our save the dates had been "designed." We bought ecru paper from Paper Source, printed them on our printer, and cut them out while watching Downton Abbey episodes (tip: getting a paper cutter is SO MUCH BETTER! I resisted and tried to cut with scissors for awhile, but once I got my hands on a paper cutter, cutting the save the dates went much faster and looked much better).

Photo Source: Wedding Chicks

Besides printing them ourselves, we were able to save money by going with a postcard style save the date. We were able to fit 3 postcards onto a single 8x11 piece of paper (and thus, did not have to buy too much paper). We also got to skip envelopes (less money and better for the environment) and got to buy the reduced-price postcard stamps. It seems like only a small difference, but in the end it ended saving us around $60 in postage. Postcards for the win!

In total, we spent $15 on our save the dates and about $20 on postage, a huge difference from when we first started looking at save the dates and thought we might have to spend $200-$300 plus postage. Spending less on these has freed up space in our budget for prettier invitations and a few other special things that hopefully guests will enjoy more than their save the dates.

And if you're still looking for save the dates, the ladies over at Wedding Chicks have recently added two absolutely adorable save the dates that I wish I had an excuse to use:

Photo Source: Wedding Chicks

Photo Source: Wedding Chicks

P.S. I didn't include a photo of our real save the date because by the time I blacked out the date and our address and our wedding website, it did not look super cute. You'll just have to imagine it!

Monday Motivation

I'm skipping the usual Monday Motivation quote and posting Beyonce's Super Bowl halftime show instead, because what can be more motivational than a Destiny's Child reunion? 

P.S. I was tweeting about some of the Super Bowl commercials over on twitter, if you'd like to see.